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Two guys are drinking, when the first guy leans over and starts stroking the other guy's beard.
He says, "Your face feels just like my wife's pussy."
The other guy strokes his beard and says, "You're right."



The rescue team finds the crashed airplane, and the lone survivor chewing on a bone, with a huge pile of human bones next to him, and they're in shock.
He says, "You can't judge me for this. I had to survive."
The leader of the rescue team says, "Jesus Christ, man...your plane only went down yesterday."




A married lady says to her neighbor, "The Gay Pride Parade is today."
The other married lady says, "We suck cock and take it in the ass. Why doesn't anybody throw us a parade?"